List: How I Comment On Essays Since My Name Autocorrected to Professor Dylan on a Student Paper
What looks large from a distance, close up ain’t never that big. (Changing all the periods and commas to 14pt size is not a legit way to make the page count.)
It is not he or she or them or it that you belong to. (Pronoun/subject agreement issues.)
Don’t criticize what you can’t understand. (I’m pretty sure Shakespeare knew what he was talking about.)
Good and bad, I define these terms/ Quite clear, no doubt, somehow. (We spent a lot of time on ethos, pathos, logos.)
Look out, kid/ It’s somethin’ you did /God knows when/ But you’re doin’ it again. (We’ve gone over sentence structure HOW many times?!)
When you ain’t got nothing, you got nothing to lose. (Let me direct you to the section on plagiarism in the syllabus.)
There must be some way out of here” said the joker to the thief/ “There’s too much/ confusion, I can’t get no relief.” (I’m really not following your argument here.)
I got a head full of ideas/ That are drivin’ me insane. (I’m really, really not following your argument here.)
People see me all the time and they just can’t remember how to act/ Their minds are filled with big ideas, images and distorted facts. (You got this from Wikipedia, didn’t you.)
I was burned out from exhaustion/ buried in the hail. (I’ve been grading all weekend. How about a B- and we call it a day?)
Twenty years of schoolin’/ And they put you on the day shift. (Let me tell you about majoring in English….)
And every one of them words rang true/ And glowed like burning coal. (Finally, the paper I’ve been waiting for!)
May your song always be sung/ And may you stay forever young. (Some really nice stuff here — best of luck next semester!)
